one week

amazing how long and how short one week can be. there were moments this week where i thought they would go on forever as i wrestled stats and admin duties, see achilles heel. the problem is of course the tasks seemed to last for eternity and yet the week was over in a blink of an eye.

as we grow older the years get shorter it seems, with time flying by so quickly moments are there and then gone. what is it about being a kid that made time slower and savoured more?

i'm older and tired and missing moments i shouldn't. having recently worked with people from africa i envy their approach to time. it will happen when its time and there is no need to rush. australians do not cope so well with this concept anymore, though i think we used to. we are too cultured and trained now to even consider being late. here's the thing though even those of us who are 'late' still miss the african time boat. you can't be late in africa...you are just there when you arrive

i want me week back to do over

albert einstein supposedly explained his theory of relativity at a conference for some of the greatest minds of his era like this...

(forgive my paraphrasing)

time is relative my friends i can prove it.

a minute with your hand on a hot plate seems like an hour

an hour of conversation with a hot woman seems like a minute

if time is relative i wonder why it accelerates with age.

i wonder why i am writing a blog at 10pm at night as exhausted as i am.

i'm wondering why it is i can't sleep... i should be asleep

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nope not even a yawn

surprise

i have discovered i work with people of various faiths. we have a fairly open dialogue. none of us are convinced the associated institutions, attached to our respective religions, do them justice. so we muddle through by engaging in open frank discussions, hearing each others points of view, joys, frustrations and experiences of hypocrisy. none of which are terribly different. we are lacking however, in the mix, people of the literal fundamental persuasion. i have been wondering how this might affect the dynamic of this tolerant, inquisitive group.

if it aint broke, don't fix it!

i'm not suggesting i want to find out but i am curious how it is the major faiths are represented in our group and the closest i have come to an uncomfortable negative discussion was because of an outside person pushing christianity down the throat of our executive director. add one more negative experience to his list. kinda sux for those of us who spent our lives feeling like outsiders on the inside, only to realise that the very same people that did it to us there have made us outsiders on the outside by the very same actions tarnishing us. i find it hard to call myself a Christian when so many others who do the same do so without integrity or more importantly respect and care.

jesus freak was a term used in the 80's that simply makes me realise how far we have fallen from christs simple message.
love god
love your neighbour

i am finding less difficulty loving my neighbour down the road in the temple, than my next door neighbour in the cathedral.

sucks to be me

i wonder how i can love my next door neighbour when our label is the same and our approach polar opposite
i wonder if the neighbour down the road in a mosque has the same dilemma
i wonder what it is i call myself...
catholic (little 'c')
Christian (big 'C')
Jesus freak (lost at C)

i wonder if looking in people's eyes is a dying art
and
if it will lead to our extinction

Paris Hilton

if you do the crime...
...do the time...
on talk shows

oh the horror!
how on earth did she survive such hellish conditions?!
how on earth could she have been jailed in the first place?!

i wonder, now she has served time for drunk driving, if she will be granted a working visa in australia

can someone please explain to me how ignorance and stupidity became a fashion accessory

i wonder if it is indeed possible to justify the injustifiable...

7.7.07

while i was being dragged up in the church there were a few things i learnt along the way.

the divine number was one. the number 7 is considered by, not just christiantity but, numerous religions as being divine. i have foxtel now and recently the live earth concert has been advertised repeatedly. suddenly today as i sat there semi comatose it dawned on me. 777

the devil's number 666 has been touted as representing the end time (see rapture for some of you bible believing christians - who have apparently never read revelations all the way through). if this is the case does this, as suggested in the final instalment of the chronicles of narnia, mean we are now in the beginning time leading to new levels out of a dieing world and new beginnings within them?

god moves in mysterious ways and i have to say She is constantly surprising me.

i wonder if the artists performing see any connections to the creator god.
i wonder how the artists are connected to creation.
i wonder about those attending the concert, or watching from whereever in the world, and if they are there for the music or the learnings
i wonder how you make a difference in a world :

• where convenience dictates lifestyle
• where death is deemed unnatural
• where beauty is a commodity
• where intelligence a liability
• where passion short lived

6 m0nths in

6 months in to a new organisation
1 month in to a new role
5 years in to a marriage
3 years into family life

30 minutes into further frustration

believe in yourself and there is no limit to what you can accomplish. fkcu to be 100% honest i find it simpler to believe in castles in the sky than myself

i have discovered what i have always known - i am my own worst enemy
i am analytical - critical - talk too much and inevitably nigh on impossible to work or live with
that of course is through my eyes which may in fact, when reflecting on myself, suffer the debilitating disease of xray vision. i see not only the actions but the intent.

i wonder how it is there are people who do, and are, themselves without a second thought
i wonder how it is some people have their worst thoughts filtered till digestible
i wonder if some of us are condemned for eternity to self denial and apology

new job - new religion?

it has been 3 week since my last blog...

new jobs have a habit of consuming you, as i now recall after reaching the third official weekend. my whole working life has been a combination of part time jobs to support myself financially while i spend every other moment doing that which i am truly passionate about. i now, at 34, have discovered the job that pays me and is also something i am truly passionate about. the real surprise is it is not working for the church, but stands for a great number of things the church in my view should but no longer does. my new job is about caring for those on the fringes of society, vulnerable people and motivating those in mainstream to actually caring enough to act.

i am loving what i will be doing in my new job and excited at the infinite possibilities but it unfortunately leads me to reflect again on how the church has let us down. how religion has let us down. people of faith change the world in ways that are often so powerful we need to stop to catch our breath. how sad it is that recently this is not for the better.
some names that you will know (i hope) and examples i believe of people of faith acting for the benefit of others
Mohammed, Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela...

some names of those i suspect who, though of faith, have done things in my view less than positively.
Archbishop Jensen, the popes, Sheik Feiz Mohammed, President Bush...
people who claim to be of faith that for me seem to be promoting things other than harmony and seeking the good for all humanity.

good and faithful people change the world everyday for the better, and seek forgiveness for the times in which they fail. i have found a workplace in which i can be good and faithful without needing to apologise for the institution.

i wonder how long till the "honeymoon" view wears off
i wonder if i will find myself apologising for my new role
i wonder why it is so hard to say sorry
i wonder why John Howard appears to choke on the very simple and immensely powerful 's' word

sorry

for dragging this thought out to an ineveitable anti climax